Answer to Question From "Mr. Inquisitive"

Good Day,

Stick-Paul received an interesting letter from one of you, his adoring and unworthy fans, and he chose to answer it last night, even though he was coming back to the Base Camp early this morning. Details of his trip, and exactly what he was doing in India and Nepal will be posted shortly. For now, he gives you a little information about life in two dimensions.

The question:

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Dear Stick-Paul,
Where do stick-men come from? Are they born? How does someone die in two dimensions?

[Mr. Inquisitive]

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The answer:

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My friend [Mr. Inquisitive],

I appreciate your curiosity, whatever its source. The truth of the matter is that two-dimensional life is a good deal more complicated than you realize. That being said, I will try to answer your questions sufficiently without going into too much detail, as the concepts involved are not easily understood, especially, I have found, for those who are used to a three-dimensional environment.

Your first question was "Where do stick-men come from?". I know that it may seem strange to think about it, but stick-men come about in the same way that three-dimensional men come about. We are conceived, are born, and die. Since I suspect that you wanted a little bit of explanation concerning the matter of your questions, I'll tell you a bit about pregnancy in two-dimensions, and death in two-dimensions.

I think the best way for me to explain this is to consider it in terms of your three-dimensional geometry. Though it will be an imperfect explanation, it should give you an idea of how things work. When a two-dimensional baby is in its mother's womb, it is two-dimensional along the same axes as its mother's womb. Birth comes at the divergence of planes. For instance: a mother's womb is two-dimensional along the x-y plane, and so, during pregnancy, is the baby. At term the baby switches planes and is found to be two-dimensional along the z-y plane, where its mother and father greet it joyfully. The mother's womb then ceases to exist in the x-y plane and again belongs to the z-y plane, though its size is reduced in proportion to the size of the newborn. One may think that since the mother is existing along two different planes during pregnancy, that she becomes temporarily three-dimensional. This is not true. The mother's womb is only visible in the x-y plane because of the presence of the baby, which is attached to the mother's womb, in that plane. "Planar laws" have been formulated in two-dimensional physics to explain this phenomenon. The three planar laws that directly apply to the existence in the womb and birth of two-dimensional babies are: two-dimensional matter cannot exist along two different planes simultaneously; planar translation happens with no loss of energy; and, two-dimensional matter in a state of translation forms an infinitely small point of reference between two planes. Many two-dimensional women would balk at this oversimplification of the process, but it suits my purposes for now.

Death in two-dimensions is much the same as it is in three-dimensions. One difference is very apparent however. A two dimensional man does not die until there is no longer sufficient energy in his body to effect a planar translation. In the translation itself there is no energy loss, but in the process which makes planar translation possible - establishment of reference - there is a small loss. These losses built up, and like a battery that is emptied of charge, the matter in a stick-man's body is used up and he dies.

Hopefully at some point in the future I will be able to spend some time writing about the nature of the two-dimensional universe, its relationship to this universe, and other universes. For now, I hope I have satisfied your curiosity somewhat.

Sincerely,


Stick-Paul

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Stick-Paul has little time to spare these days, but he enjoys talking about his universe all the same. Personally I enjoy thinking about the consequences of dimensional multiplication in infinitum. Imagine traveling to a four-dimensional universe (excluding time-space, which apparently is a constant in all the universes Stick-Paul has visited).

Stick-Paul has asked me to encourage questions about two-dimensional reality. You, his adoring and unworthy fans, can ask your questions in the form of e-mails. Sent your questions to the address provided for fan mail with the subject heading “Two-dimensional query”.

If Stick-Paul can find the time, he will probably be willing to satisfy your curiosity.

Aloofly,
Stick-Paul’s manager.